On Trusting God
Ya’ll, the good Lord has been doing work in my heart lately. I can’t fully explain it, but I’m a writer, so I’ll do my best to share what I can.
Over the past few months, Dillon and I have become podcast junkies. We love them and we each have several that we listen to on a weekly basis. I’ve included two of my favorites (each one linked with a favorite episode):
That Sounds Fun Podcast hosted by Annie F. Downs
Out of the Ordinary by Lisa Jo Baker and Christie Purifoy
If you are at all like me, whenever I find myself in a season of restlessness, I become so desperate for words from the Lord. I remember seasons of job searching, home searching, waiting for a baby (you name it) and it was almost as the if more the waiting went on, the more eager (and desparate) became.
When I was finishing grad school, still living in Kitchener, I prayed looooong and hard and deep and wide to get a job at my alma mater. I wanted it more than anything. I woke up early each morning and prayed about it. I fasted for it. I had a text chain with family and friends asking them to pray for it. It was a deep deep longing.
Similarly, I longed to become a mom. For as long as I can remember, I knew that I wanted to care for kiddos and raise a family. I prayed about it. Fasted for it. And did everything within my own power to make it happen.
Those seasons are ones that were marked by intentional prayer and seeking because I had something just outside of my grasp that I yearned for. To be honest, each season of my life has always felt that way. There were always wonderful pieces, but my mind constantly wandered to the next thing that was just out of reach. This is a life of an Achieving Enneagram 3. Yet lately, God has been challenging me to become more aware and grateful for the longings fulfilled all around me.
Going to my job everyday is a result of a longing fulfilled. Having a home that we own and that we can work on together is a longing fulfilled. Folding a basket of laundry full of my husband’s and daughter’s clothes is the result of longings fulfilled. A calendar, filled with customer requests and dates with family and friends is the result of longings fulfilled.
As a dreamer and an achiever, it’s hard for me to embrace what I’ve been given when all too often, my mind is gravitating towards possibility. But in this season, I’m learning to become someone who can be trusted with much because I have learned the art of being faithful in the small. I want my daughter to look back at pictures of us during this season of slow growth, with trim still missing from the floorboards and a makeshift shop in the sunroom, and see the joy and contentment on her parents’ faces because we were just so in love with our life.
I’m reminded that God is a God who can be trusted with our dreams, our desires, and the deep longings of our hearts. I’ll bet that if you stopped what you were doing, right now, and took a quick glance at your surroundings, you’ll find subtle reminders of His faithfulness and the result of your own longings fulfilled.
“Whoever can be trusted with little, can also be trusted with much”.
- Luke 16:10