For as long as I can remember, I have been looking forward to marriage. As soon as a wedding date was set, the countdown began and every day was another set closer to “the big moment”. The time in between was filled with decisions about tablecloths and décor and menus and attire, and just about the time every decision had been made, it was time for the wedding. Saying “yes” to a proposal and “yes” to caring for someone for my life was not hard for me to do.
Now I’m faced with decisions that require something very different from me. Whether or not to go to the gym in the morning and whether or not to initiate a conversation with our neighbors and whether or not to accept an invitation to dinner with people I don’t know. In those moments, my introverted self battles with the “me I want to be” and sometimes saying “yes” is hard.
However, God has been showing me that my ability to say “yes” is a direct reflection of my level of commitment. Saying “yes” to a forever with Dillon wasn’t hard because I was totally bought in from the start. I had no idea where we were going, but I knew that I wanted to go there together. There is a reason they call it the “big plunge”. When jumping off a cliff you have to be fully invested because once you begin your downward descent, there is no turning back. But there are daily opportunities for “yes” moments like when my commitment asks me to mow the grass so my husband that worked all day doesn’t have to. Or when I have the option to say, “yes” to a movie I wouldn’t choose or a meal I don’t necessarily like, because they are opportunities for me to recognize my husband’s wants. Saying “yes” is a reflection of my commitment, and my response is always filled with opportunity to grow more and serve more and love more.
The reality is that every day seems like a battle of whether or not to say “yes” or “maybe tomorrow”. Whether it be in my schooling, my marriage, or my social life. But today is a “yes” day. A day where I still feel ridiculously unprepared and unqualified for the life I am living. Yet, somewhere in the midst of the Honey Nut Cheerios I had for breakfast and my first decision, I gained the strength and motivation to try new things. So tonight, we will have tacos for dinner in celebration of a God who gives “yes” days.